


Secrets & Lies

by Ultra



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Love Confessions, Season/Series 03, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-05-10 12:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14737157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: After Cassandra's emergency surgery, both she and Jacob have a lot to think about. They've both been holding onto secrets about their feelings and lying about what they want. Maybe it's time that changed.





	1. Part 1 of 3

“Master, please, it can't be done. I’ve not even been here two months.”

It sounded so desperate, the way he said it, and then so stupidly vague. Jacob Stone was rarely either of those things, and wondered too late if his Sifu could see through the lie of it all.

“Time is not the measure of man, Jacob,” the Monkey King told him with a smile. “Only what he achieves. Monkey King earned the staff of Shangri-La. Your destiny lies elsewhere.”

Jake already knew that was true, and it was part of the problem. A very small part, actually. The larger issue wasn’t his destiny as a Librarian and whatever came with that. No, his issue was human and female, with beautiful red hair, hypnotic blue eyes, and a brain that could calculate faster than all the world’s greatest computers combined.

“The Library was right to send you here to complete training,” the Monkey King continued, “but I have taught you all that I can.”

His training was over and Jake already knew it, long before he was told. Fighting was in his blood, in his heart and soul. A boy from Oklahoma, raised on bar fights and such, all he really needed to learn was a little technique and control. Baird already taught him a lot and swore he was a natural. The Monkey King had trained him intensely and for such a short time, but apparently, they were done.

The problem was, Jake wasn’t ready. Sure, he could fight now, he was prepared for the upcoming battles that were bound to come, but there were other things that he was terrified to face. That same smiling red-head whose face was forever present inside his mind, she was one of the scarier things, or perhaps moreso his feelings for her.

Almost two months he had been away. Seven weeks, five days, nine hours, and twenty-two minutes to be exact since he said goodbye and walked out of the Library in pursuit of Shangri-La and all the Monkey King could teach him, and still he wasn’t ready to go back and face reality.

“Come on,” he urged his Sifu, “there’s gotta be something else you can teach me.”

“Well,” the Monkey King considered, “there are magical techniques...”

“No. No magic.”

Jake made a cutting motion with his hands to match the words. He was not getting mixed up in one more thing just bound to have unpleasant consequences. Not now, probably not ever.

“And I respect that decision, but it means from now on, your lessons must be ones you teach yourself. That is your practice.”

The way the Monkey King looked at him when he said those words, the more Jake believed he saw the truth within his eyes, within his soul. Coming here was never all about learning martial arts techniques, the skills he would need for upcoming fights, both physical and otherwise. There was so much more to face.

Patting Jake on the shoulder, the Monkey King left him alone with his thoughts, something the Librarian almost wished he didn’t have to deal with right now. The view over this strange and magical place was beautiful and it was impossible not to think, one more time, how much Cassandra would love to see it.

Jake smiled just thinking of her, but that happy expression soon gave way to a frown. She was barely out of the hospital when he left. That was planned. Though the Library had sent him to Shangri-La specifically, Jake already had a mind to run and hide long before Cassie returned to work. His feelings for her, they had always been there, but now, the whole situation was messing with Jake’s head way too much.

It had been easier when they first met. It took all of an hour to realise she was the type he could really, seriously fall for, and then when she betrayed the team, it had cut Jake to the quick. Cassie wasn’t perfect, but she could’ve been perfect for him, he was sure on that. To have to realise he could love her but not trust her, it was tough.

Of course, they had to work through it, to get the job done, if nothing else. He came to understand her better, they got to know each other as colleagues, as friends, as close as family, and yet he couldn’t ever make her a sibling as easily as the others. Baird was big sister from the get-go, and as much as it pained him to admit it, Jones was the little brother Jake never had. Cassie was different. She was amazing, smart, brave, and beyond beautiful, both inside and out. Not that he ever told her any of that.

For the longest time, Jake told himself he was better off keeping his mouth shut. The couple of times he dared to make any kind of suggestion of taking Cassie out, being more than friends, it seemed as if she either didn’t notice or didn’t want to get involved that way. Better to be friends than screw up the whole group dynamic, Jake figured, so he didn’t say a word, but things were different now. So different that his head felt like it was about to explode.

There was the irony. His own brain felt fit to burst, and yet it was Cassie who got rushed into the hospital a few weeks back, her own head literally overloading with the pressure of the tumour on her brain. Jake thought he had been scared in his life, more than a few times, more than he would ever be willing to admit, but sitting in that hospital, waiting on news of Cassie’s operation, that was just about as terrified as Jacob Stone had ever been.

The thought that kept on popping up and wouldn’t quit, amongst all the general worries and fears for Cassandra’s health and survival, was very clear. ‘What if I never get to tell her?’

It was selfish and stupid, and the ironic twist was that when Cassie pulled through, Jake still kept his silence, and he wasn’t exactly sure why. He had reasons, he could list them now, and did so out loud, stood alone in the training room at the Monkey King’s home, but did they really matter that much?

“She was in the hospital, she just had brain surgery, and she was vulnerable. Not a good time for a confession,” he muttered to himself. “Then she was in recovery and getting to grips with her gift, and even if... even if I got up the nerve, she didn’t... she couldn’t...”

Jake closed his eyes, braced his hands on the rail and forced a breath through his lungs. That last one hurt. A lot. Even if he had gotten up the nerve to tell Cassie the truth of how he felt, he knew she couldn’t feel the same, not after the conversation he overheard the day before he left for Shangri-La.

It wasn’t deliberate. He wasn’t Jones, running around in silent steps, eavesdropping on everybody’s private moments. Jake was on his way to The Annex and stopped short of entering when he heard Cassandra’s name in whispered tones. Jenkins and Baird were in deep conversation and he couldn’t help himself, he just had to listen.

‘Without wishing to sound conceited, I suppose her feelings were understandable,’ Jenkins had said. ‘We’ve spent rather a lot of time together, and we do get along very well. Plus, I’m fairly certain much of my attraction for her was the immortality angle, given her own situation.’

‘Oh, poor Cassandra,’ Baird had sympathised. ‘Well, you handled it beautifully Jenkins. I don’t think we can thank you enough for saving the day like you did.’

‘I assure you, Colonel, I would’ve done the same for any one of this family,’ the Caretaker told her kindly. ‘But Ms Cillian is very special, and I shall admit to being very much flattered by her advances, even if I could not return the kind of love she was looking for.’

Jacob had been stuck to the spot by the realisation of what Jenkins was saying. Cassandra was in love with with Jenkins, with Galahad, Knight of the Round Table. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t or wouldn’t feel the same, Jake knew that. Knowing she couldn’t feel the same about him certainly hadn’t changed his feelings at all, so it had to be the same for her. What stung was knowing he was out of chances before he ever spoke a word to Cassie. His pride was dented, and that last flickering flame of hope he’d held onto that maybe, just maybe, she did feel the same, went out in an instant.

So yes, Jake had jumped at the chance to come to Shangri-La and learn everything Sifu could teach him. Yes, he wanted to stay here to learn more, at least partially so he could avoid what, or rather who, was waiting for him back at the Library. Yes, he wished he knew how he was going to handle this situation, but no, so far, he had not figured it out.

* * *

Cassandra walked down the steps and stared into The Annex, empty as it was. She loved being back here, and couldn’t wait to escape the hospital and enforced R&R to return to the job she loved so much. Unfortunately, a return to The Library was not a return to what she knew and yearned for. Her family felt different now, she felt different, and it wasn’t all about the tumour, or lack of same.

When Eve stepped into view and asked how she was doing Cassie smiled. They all cared so much, made such a big deal over her condition, and yet all without smothering her. It was like having brothers and sisters, maybe even a mother sometimes with Baird, and Cassie loved that. She had been far too long without a family. Still, there was one in the group that she had come to feel close to for a long while, who she had probably started to take for granted, however inadvertently. With Jacob gone, Cassie felt lonely, a little lost, and particularly out of her depth with the new expanded powers of her mind.

“When I got out of surgery, I was so grateful that I still had my gift,” she explained to Eve, “but it’s not the same.”

“Right, you said. It’s... bigger.”

“It’s a lot bigger,” Cassie emphasised, not sure she ever could properly convey the magnitude to anyone, except maybe Stone, if he were here. “And it does different things. It affects people. I don’t know how to control it. It’s scary.”

She knew tears were forming in her eyes and she hated that. Cassie wanted to be strong, she wanted to be bigger and better than this. After all, she had lived all those years with a death sentence inside her brain and she had survived. The surgery had saved her and she no longer had to fear her own mind in a physical way. Mentally, she wasn’t so sure.

To have the power to see things the way she did, to calculate and figure, it was a lot to handle. Her synesthesia was intense at times, even when she got a handle on it, and when it all ran away from her, it was Jacob she turned to. Actually, she didn’t even have to turn, he was just there. He would take her hand, talk her down, help her find a way through the panic, the tangle of numbers and colours and memories, through the pain. She needed less help as time went on, but now with her new expanded gift, she was wary. She felt the loss of his presence even more keenly than she might have done otherwise, though Cassie was quickly realising it was easy to miss Jake for so many reasons.

“When we first met, you weren’t in control of the gift you had,” said Eve kindly. “You thought you’d never get a handle on it, but you did.”

“Yeah, but that’s the thing,” Cassie countered. “I’m afraid to try it. What if I hurt somebody?”

She meant to listen to the answer Eve gave. In fact, Cassie did take in pieces of what Baird said about training the guys to fight but being of no use to someone who’s power was well beyond the understanding of a Guardian. Cassie new she would help her if she could, and not just because it was her job. She also knew she was absolutely right in saying she wasn’t able to be of assistance, but Cassie knew someone who would be.

Two months felt like forever already. Actually, it was seven weeks, five days, ten hours, four minutes, and eight seconds, nine, ten, eleven... Cassie shook her head to keep herself from counting. She caught herself doing that a lot lately, and at the same time, trying to calculate how much longer it might be before Jake came home to them, to her.

Of course, as much as she wished he was there to help when her mind got away from her, when it was all so overwhelming and she begged for a grounding rod to keep her stable, she missed him for other reasons too. Cassandra was amazed to realise how many times she had things she wanted to say to Jacob, to share with him, even to argue with him about. He had just always been there before, and now he wasn’t. Somehow the hole Jacob had left in her heart felt much larger than any space in her cranial cavity. That probably wasn’t a romantic thing to say, but Cassie had an urge to tell him anyway, to tell him a lot of things, if only he were around to hear them.

“And when the time comes, I know you’ll do the right thing.”

It was the last thing Eve said as she smiled at Cassandra and patted her knee.

“Thank you,” she replied automatically, though she was unsure what else the Guardian had told her.

She really had to find a way to concentrate until the return of...

“Stone?” she gasped, as the Back Door flew open and Jacob himself stumbled into the Annex.

There was the briefest moment when their eyes met but they shared no smile.

“Shangri-La is under attack,” he explained, looking shaken to the core.

It seemed they would both have to wait for another time to talk.


	2. Part 2 of 3

There was a long moment of silence after Charlene disappeared into the mirror. Nobody knew what they were supposed to say or do. The original Guardian of the Library was gone, not dead but as good as in so many ways. Flynn and Baird both had tears in their eyes and eventually, instinctively sought comfort together. They disappeared through the far door with their arms around each other.

Jenkins muttered an ‘excuse me’, looking fit to bawl, as he too made a hasty exit.

Jones looked back at his fellow Librarians and opened his mouth to speak. He changed his mind when he saw the way Cassandra was looking at Stone, and the way he was quite deliberately not looking back at her. There was no way he was getting in the middle of whatever that was, so he retreated to his own quiet corner, leaving the two alone in The Annex together.

When Jacob finally dared to look toward Cassie, he was immediately glad he had and wishing he hadn’t at the same time. She was fighting a losing battle with tears, trying so hard to be brave, but clearly hurting. Jake knew how she felt, and not just because of Charlene. That was tough enough to handle, but then there was everything else. There was so much he meant to say, so many things that needed figuring out, and yet right here and now, he forgot them all.

Cassandra met his eyes and tried to figure out what the look on Jake’s face was about. Before Shangri-La had fallen and they went to save it, she had so wanted him to come home. When he came busting through the doors yesterday, she almost thought she had brought him there through sheer force of will. Since she hadn’t a clue yet how far her powers extended, it might’ve been true. Now she was fairly sure it wasn’t. Quite honestly, she was terrified of wishing too hard that he would just talk to her, for fear of accidentally forcing him to do it.

“So,” he said in the silence. “That was... intense.”

“Very intense,” she agreed readily, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “I had no idea when Jenkins said he pledged himself to another that he meant Charlene.”

She watched Jake wince at that and wondered why. If she was waiting for an explanation for his reaction, it seemed she was in for disappointment because he didn’t say a word, just turned his face away again.

“Jacob?” she tried, reaching out to touch his arm, flinching back as if electrocuted when he looked at her so suddenly. “I... I know this is probably going to sound so silly to you, especially now, but I just... Well, when you were away so long, I missed you.”

She said it with a smile, like the sweetest thing in the world. Maybe that’s exactly what it was and what she intended, but it was killing Jake by degrees to stand here and listen to her talk that way. There was no way she missed him the way he missed her. She couldn’t possibly.

“Did you, Cassie?” he asked her, smiling through the pain, the way he had so many times before in a hundred situations that called for it.

“Of course,” she insisted. “There were so many times I had things I wanted to share with you and... and you weren’t here, and of course, I know that you had to go for your training. It was important and I’m sure you learnt a lot, which is great. I’d hate for you to think that I’m not happy for you, that you got to train with the Monkey King and everything, but... but selfishly speaking, I wish you could have been here”

It all came out of her at ninety miles per hour. Jake was glad he’d had a couple of years practice with her speech patterns, because quite honestly, he used to have a real problem keeping up with her. Now, when it suddenly seemed so important to catch every single syllable, he was happy to know that he could.

“I missed you too, Cass,” he promised her. “Thought about you every day, wondered how you were doing and all.”

“Physically, I’m doing fine,” she promised, one hand going absently to her head. “The other stuff is... Well, it’s trickier.”

“Your gift got bigger,” he said, recalling the way she explained it to them before he left for Shangri-La.

“Much bigger,” she clarified. “Scary bigger.”

That made Jake frown some. He recalled the early days when Cassandra hadn’t got the best hold on her abilities, when she could spin out on control almost every time she calculated too much or felt too many things at once. It was only by working together that they had found ways for her to handle it and not panic. Jake had to admit to feeling a little cast aside when Cassie learnt to deal without his hand to hold, either literally or figuratively, but he was damn proud of her all the same.

“Scary how?” he asked, following her when she wandered over to the stairs and took a seat. “Cassie?”

“In lots of ways,” she admitted, scooching over in a silent invitation for him to join her, smiling when he did, albeit momentarily. “Sometimes it gets all... It’s too much,” she explained as best she could, making gestures with her hands to show the size of the visions she now saw, which appeared much larger than before. “And then there’s the... the ability to change things.”

“Change things?” Jake echoed curiously.

“Um, yeah. Sometimes if I think something and I want someone to know it, I can... I can put it in their head.”

Jake’s eyebrows shot up at that remark, his eyes so wide, he almost looked like a cartoon. Cassie held her breath, waiting to hear what the rest of his reaction would be. He wasn’t a fan of magic, she knew that much. It could have consequences, dangerous ones, they were all well-aware, but this wasn’t magic exactly. This was a condition of her brain that couldn’t be helped, at least, Cassandra assumed so. She could probably learn to control the new parts just as she had the old ones, but so far, not much luck.

“Wow,” said Jake eventually, just knowing he must look as bowled-over as he felt. “I don’t... Wow.”

“Yeah.” Cassie nodded her agreement. “I know it’s a lot to process. Believe me, I’ve been trying for two months.”

She looked down at her own hands in her lap, picking at the nail polish that was usually so perfect. This bothered her, a lot, and Jake didn’t wonder at it. To be scared of visions and hampered by pain had been bad enough for her, but to have the kind of power she was talking about now, to be able to literally change what was in another person’s mind, that would terrify anyone, at least anyone with a conscience. Despite what had happened in the beginning of their days here at the Library, Jake was certain Cassie had one of the biggest hearts and the best moral compass of anyone he knew.

“Hey,” he said, his hand on hers, fingers wrapping around to take a hold and get her attention at the same time. “You’ll learn to control it, just like you learned to control all the other parts of your gift.”

“I could only do that because... because you helped me,” she admitted, eyes filling with tears once again. “Because you were always here, to hold my hand,” she said, with a watery smile, showing him their entwined fingers now to make her point.

“Hey, I’m always gonna be here if you need me,” he promised. “Always, you hear me?”

She nodded, sending two salty droplets rolling down her cheeks. She sniffed and swallowed hard, feeling foolish for her upset. Some of this had to do with Charlene she was sure, maybe even Jenkins, but most of it was Jake. Happiness that he was here and relief that he still wanted to be her friend, her grounding rod, and her greatest ally.

“I’d be there for you too,” she said softly. “If you needed me.”

Jake smiled at that. There was no way to do anything else.

“Thank you, Cassie,” he said, squeezing her hand. “As a matter of fact, I might take you up on that,” he told her then, looking studiously at his own arm.

Cassandra wondered what to make of the seriousness with which he unbuttoned his sleeve and rolled it up. She gasped at the sight of the tattoo design wrapped all around his forearm. Like Chinese symbols, or Japanese maybe. No, they were something else, something undoubtedly magical.

“When I fought the Monkey King, broke the spell that he was under and made things right again in Shangri-La, the staff bestowed a gift on me,” he explained, looking less than comfortable as he showed his arm to Cassandra.

Her eyes lit up as she pored over the symbols, fingers tracing the patterns on his skin with the same kind of wonder he had seen her follow calculations in the air in front of her or the markings on some ancient magical artifact.

“It’s... magic?” she guessed, sure there could be no other explanation.

Jake nodded. “I asked him to take it off, but he said he couldn’t. Said the staff granted it to me, not him. Apparently, it’s the gift of inner soul. Monkey King said that with it, I can bring light where there is only darkness.”

“This is incredible,” said Cassandra, staring at the indelibly inked markings still. “You were deemed worthy of this, Jacob. That’s amazing,” she told him, looking up to meet his eyes. “But then you did save the whole of Shangri-La and the Monkey King himself,” she reminded him, smiling wide.

“Did what I had to, like we all do,” he said, shrugging it off, pulling his sleeve back down over the tattoo that bothered him so much. “Everybody’s making sacrifices. Charlene gave up everything today, and Jenkins lost the love of his life,” he said, pausing then and looking away. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” asked Cassie, genuinely confused by his apology.

“For... for saying that about Jenkins,” he explained, hating that they even had to talk about this, but Jake had started so he figured he may as well finish. “I know how you feel about him, Cass. He told Baird and I overheard, not on purpose, but I did. So, yeah, I know.”

“No, you don’t,” she told him, her hand on his knee to get his attention back from the floor. “Jacob, I was... I was desperate and confused. The tumour was bigger, getting worse all the time. I knew my time was almost up, and Jenkins, he’s immortal. He’s seen everything, done everything, and he could go on living a hundred years after you and I are gone. So, I let myself be in love with him, or the idea of him, for a little while, but it wasn’t real. I know that now,” she explained, never taking her gaze from his own. “It’s like with Estrella. She means so much to me because she tried to save me, and because she could understand some of what I was going through. I love her for that, and I love Jenkins too. I love everybody here, because every person is so special to me, but it’s not the same as...”

“The same as what?” asked Jake, almost afraid to know the answer, holding his breath until she either said what he wanted to hear or broke his heart, because one of the two seemed inevitable right now.

Cassandra shook her head, almost imperceptibly, biting her lip as she struggled to find the words. She had done this once before and got shot down in flames. Now she was even more sure of her own feelings and even less certain of the other person’s own, but if almost dying had taught her anything, it was to live for the moment, because it might be your last.

Pushing herself forward, she hoped to make her intentions very clear. When Jake’s hand was suddenly at the back of her neck and his lips on hers, she knew she had got it right. A lot of people describe a great kiss, especially in movies or books, as being like the fourth of July inside their head. For Cassie, it was almost literally like that, as the feelings Jacob’s kiss evoked in her flashed with colour and light all around. It was almost a relief when they parted, since Cassandra wasn’t sure she could’ve handled any more without her heart bursting with the joy of it all.

“Since we seem to be doing this right now,” said Jake, deciding that if she was all in he was too. “I love you, Cassie, and I don’t just mean as one of the team, or my best friend, or whatever else. I love you,” he repeated, his meaning more than clear to her, and he knew it by the way she was smiling right now.

“I love you too, Jacob Stone,” she promised him. “I don’t think I realised quite how much until you were gone those two months. I guess it’s true what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

“I was never really gone,” he promised, pulling her closer again, their foreheads touching. “I’m always coming back to you, Cass. Always.”

“Me too,” she promised, before their lips met in another perfect kiss. “This is probably the worst possible time to start something like this” she said then, eyes dipping to the floor. “The end of days is coming, literally, and there’s so much to deal with.”

“Then we’ll deal with it together, just like always,” Jake promised her, “and when it’s over, then we’ll figure out us.”

Cassandra smiled wide, her hand at his cheek as she just sat a moment, drinking in the wonder of having him back and having him love her in a way that, deep down, she had always wanted him to.

“Sounds like a solid plan to me.”


	3. Part 3 of 3

“Did you see us in there? That was amazing! Even I didn’t know we could be that awesome and powerful!”

Ezekiel Jones was in the middle of one of his usual over-the-top rambles about just how great he was, that much Jacob knew. To be honest, he really wasn’t listening enough to realise Jones was also complimenting the rest of the team, but it really didn’t matter.

The battle was over, the war was won, at least for now. Apep had been defeated, DOSA was done trying to take The Library, and the world was as it should be. All Jake could think about was the beautiful woman standing across the table from him, and it seemed Cassandra only had eyes for him too.

“You know, third wheel is not a good look for Ezekiel Jones, mates,” he said, looking between Jake and Cassie, both of whom suddenly seemed to realise he was there.

“Oh, Ezekiel, we didn’t...” she began, looking embarrassed. “I mean, It’s not...”

“Yes, it is,” he said firmly, looking from one to the other again. “C’mon, Stone, admit it. You like her, she likes you.”

“For once, you’re not entirely wrong,” said his friend with a smile. “Jones, I’m sorry, man.”

“For what? Like I’m bothered if you two want to get all snuggly or whatever. Just warn me before the kissing starts so I can vacate the area, okay? I don’t think Jenkins wants vomit on the Annex floor,” he said, smirking wickedly.

Cassie shoved him in the shoulder for his comments, grinning because she couldn’t help it.

“But seriously though, before I give you two some alone time, can we talk a bit about what happened in there?” he asked, gesturing in the general direction of the Library’s centre.

“The part where we were ‘awesome’,” Stone quoted in his best imitation of Jones’ except - it wasn’t great.

“Yeah, we were pretty awesome,” he agreed, “but all that magic, got kinda scary too.”

“Agreed,” said Cassie, nodding her head. “We are powerful, each of us in different ways, but we have to be careful in using those powers. What we just did, it needed to be done, but if we don’t take care... I hate to think what we might be capable of.”

Her smile faded too fast, which caused Jake some concern. As harsh as it might have sounded, he was pleased when Jones agreed to limiting the magic use and then left them alone. He and Cassie needed to talk, about a lot of things, and Jake didn’t want to wait anymore.

“So, we won,” he said, trying to catch her eye and suddenly finding it impossible.

“We did,” she agreed. “Should be a good feeling.”

“Isn’t it?” asked Jake, shaking his head. “A second ago it seemed to be but-”

“But when I think too much about what we did, about the how rather than the what.”

“Cass, we just talked about this. We agreed to be careful about how much magic we use, all three of us. We’ll save it for the worst of the bad guys, that’s the deal.”

“It’s easier for you,” she said too fast, too snippily, and she knew it when she saw Jacob physically flinch. “I’m sorry, but it is.”

She turned to walk away then, but Jake wasn’t about to let that happen. He’d waited too long already to figure things out with Cassie. Even when they finally got as far as confessing some pretty serious feelings and sharing some kisses, they had to wait some more. The fight was more important, but it was over now. They could finally move forward, and yet, another stumbling block seemed to be about to get in their way.

“Cassandra, wait,” he called to her, racing to give chase and grabbing her arm before she could get away.

“Jacob, please. Don’t,” she urged him, pulling her wrist free, tears pooling in her eyes. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Why would you...?” he began, only to realise what she meant when she looked away.

When she said ‘hurt’, she didn’t mean it in the ways he might’ve guessed. Cassie would never cheat on him or mess him around, none of that stuff was her. She couldn’t deny that she loved him, not now, so that wasn’t it either. What she meant had to do with her gift and magic, things he knew often scared her in the past. Now they were scaring her all over again.

“Hey,” he said, hand gently at her shoulder now. “You’re not gonna hurt me. You’re not gonna hurt anyone, I believe that.”

“Maybe not on purpose,” she admitted. “Not unless... Something like Apep, we needed to do what we did to stop him, but that just proved how strong we are, how strong I am. You have some control over your gift,” she said, looking at his arm, the tattoos peeking out from the end of his unfastened sleeve. “I don’t. I don’t know if I ever will.”

“You will,” he said definitely. “We’re gonna figure this out together, Cass, just like we talked about. I promise, you don’t have to be afraid.”

She wanted to believe that. Cassandra really, really did. A part of her was sure he was right, that there was nothing they couldn’t do so long as they were together. They just saved the world, everything else ought to be cake. Unfortunately, where her brain-related powers were concerned, Cassie wasn’t so sure.

“You know what I think scares me most?” she said, swallowing hard before she could actually go on. “That I’m already doing it. What if I’m putting thoughts in your head right now? What if you’re only saying what I want to hear because I’m making you? I’m not even sure anymore.”

The tears came full-force then, and Jake moved to swiftly pull Cassie into his arms. They stood there a long time with their arms around each other, her sobbing into his shoulder, and him trying not to break down just the same. Some of this was the fear she spoke of, but some was probably leftover from the battle too. Upset from what had almost happened, relief that it was all over now.

“You are not making me say what I’m saying,” Jake promised Cassandra when she finally stopped crying. “You hear me?” he checked, pulling away just far enough to meet her red-rimmed eyes. “I’m pretty sure I have loved you from the first minute I laid eyes on you, Cassandra Cillian,” he promised with a smile he couldn’t help as he pushed her hair back behind her ear. “At least, from the first minute I saw you do impossible math in your head.”

She giggled at that, even though her tears were barely dry yet.

Jake was glad to hear that sound and see the smile back on her lips.

“If I’ve felt this way for all of that time,” he continued softly, “then you ain’t doing this to me. It’s not you controlling me or making me be how you want me to be. It’s just me loving you, and that’s not gonna change, Cassandra. It can’t.”

“I know,” she said, nodding her head, knowing it was foolish to suggest otherwise, she just couldn’t help the fear that rose in her sometimes. “I love you too. I think maybe it’s been just about as long for me too, though I’m not a hundred percent sure I realised it then, but I know now,” she told him definitely. “You’re the first and only person I have ever known who could make sense of what I am, of the gifts I have. The only person who could actually find a way to ground me when everything gets crazy.”

“And I will always be here to do that for you, for as long as you need me to,” he promised, holding her close still. “Whatever happens, however big your gift gets, however crazy you might turn, no matter what you or the world throws at me, I’m gonna be right here, Cass. Always.”

She didn’t have words to answer him. Cassandra wished that she did because he deserved them, but she just couldn’t find them right now. Instead, she went with the next best thing. She put her hands to his head and pulled him just a little bit closer, then she kissed him.

It wasn’t as if it was the first time they kissed. That was days ago, and it had been exhilarating enough, but they hadn’t known then what came next. Now they did. Though the Library would be endangered and the world in peril, though evil would once again try to out do good and as Librarians they would need to be the ones to step and solve it, one thing was now very clear to Jacob Stone and Cassandra Cillian. Whatever they did from here on out, they did together, and with the strength of their love to guide and bind them, there was no way they could ever fail.


End file.
